Madisaar Helen/Modern Magaletchumi

Scene 1: One of the Temples in Chennai[Cast-Me, Maami 1, Maami 2]

Maami 1: Enne di ma, paathutu chumma sirichutu pora...rendu varthai pesitu poyen.

Me: Sollungo Maami...[we exchange pleasantries]

M1: Onna eppo paaru Jeans layum, matha dress le paathu, podavai kattinda apprum adayalamey therile.

Me: (smiling...although cursing under my breath, hate such comments...and take leave somehow)

M1 to M2: Ennamo po, ivalellam enne potukra nu therile. Fancy dress madri anda anda edatukku edanu potundu vardugal. Naan ennoda Maatuponnu kitta strict a daan irupen.

[The above exchange is between me and one of those many Maami's I know, who is wondering about my conventional outfit, having seen me in not-so-conventional clothes most times. She remarks to her companion saying women these days wear clothes like they are going to a fancy dress as opposed to a set code of dressing they adhered to earlier. She closes off saying she wouldnt let her DIL be like this...whatever that means!!!This is why I wanted to avoid that entire encounter completely]

What is it about a well-bred modern woman that makes even other members belonging to the same ilk scoff at her? I am not talking about the average educated-yet-adhering-to-conservative-ideals woman. But at the above average educated-yet-adhering-to-conservative-ideals woman. I consider myself belonging to the latter category and have had many insulting questions owing to my conventional-when-necessary-and-non-conentional-otherwise approach, from folks who straitjacket such women into a bra-burning liberationist who knows nothing about running a home or cooking a meal. "Do you have any cooking happening at home or do you order out everyday?", "I bet you can just about make a Sanwich...". All that, until they tasted my cooking once or heard my explanations for a ritual they thought mundane.

I had many nicknames. But the 2 most memorable of them have been Modern Magaletchumi[when single] and Madisaar Helen[post marriage]. Before we actually go to the rest of the blog, I need to give some explanation as to these name options.

Mahalakshmi is the Hindu Goddess who was considered the epitome of grace and beauty and everything womanly. And you obviously can figure out what I mean by Modern Magaletchumi[Just a play on the name to make it have a local flavour]. And when a bride search was carried out for a groom, they were looking for an earthly replica of Mahalakshmi as a prospective bride. I suppose you get the drift.

Madisaar is a different style of wearing the Sari, the national costume of India. It is worn by the married women in the Tam-Bram community and a woman who wears this is taditionally considered to be perfection personified with respect to cooking, cleaning, housekeeping, et al. Helen is the ertwhile era item-girl of movies and was considered the opposite of the lady in Madisaar.

I considered both these terms to be a compliment rather than a disparage. If you actually think of it, the ability to adapt to the environment, like a chameleon, albeit in a good sense is what makes this nickname an apt one. Am sure there are hundreds of such women out there who share these same sentiments as opposed to the rest of the ilk[like the Maamis] who choose to think of such adaptability as being non-conventional. All I can say to such Maamis is..."May your son get married to a Modern Magaletchumi so she becomes a Madisaar Helen and makes you eat humble pie....oops, humble idly"...